Imaginations

I love when kids use their imaginations!  I sat watched this one unravel the other day.  They made a boat from a storage tote, found a map of the world, and then got Tanner's controller to his remote control car- they were ready to set sail around the world!  Ashlyn would say, "Take us to Israel where Jesus was baptised," or "Off to South America."  And Tanner would stear the way!  I loved watching them. 

They are quite a pair, and have really become good little buddies!

Look Who Lost Her First Tooth

Can she really be old enough to be loosing teeth!  Sheeeeeesh!

After hearing about her wiggily tooth for weeks, it FINALLY came out!  She was SO excited!

Look how grown up she is!  I absolutely love her smile!

Apparently the tooth fairy was a little more generous to Ashlyn than she has been to other kids- Ashlyn got $2 for her first tooth.  All her friends were a little upset that they only got $1.  I guess the tooth fairy knows for next time!  She just got a bonus for it being her first tooth!

Loving Being Home

We are loving being home. It has been hard getting back on a schedule, but we are making progress. I am a little paranoid about leaving the house and started feeling a little trapped, but some great neighbors have gotten me out at least to just enjoy the sunshine. Logan is doing great... maybe a little too great. We took him to his pediatrician and he was a little concerned that his oxygen saturation was back up to 100- for having the pulmonary banding it should be lower. We go back to see the Cardiologist on Wednesday so hopefully we will get good news.
Logan has had no shortage of attention and love this week.
Ashlyn had Brad look up what colors Logan could see at this age- green, orange, red and yellow. So she made his this heart for him with all the colors he can see.  She will prop it up for him to look at.

                                                                     Priceless!

When we came home from the hospital we told Ashlyn she wouldn't be able to hold Logan for a week so his incision had time to heal. She would ask every day if she could hold him yet. She finally got her chance... the picture says it all!

A little bit of "Normalcy"

Saturday morning Brad went and picked the kids up to spend a few hours with us at the hospital.  Ashlyn and Tanner think hospitals are pretty cool.  There is a fun toy room to play in, they get to eat in a cafeteria and pick whatever they want to eat... they have felt more like they were on vacation this week than anything!  They were starting to ask when they could sleep in their own beds though.

One of the afternoons when Logan was in the PICU (the days have all run together) Brad and I took the kids to Build-a-Bear.  This is something our kids have been asking to do for a long time, but we have never wanted to spend the money.  We understood how hard this had to be on them being juggled around from place to place, not seeing mom and dad for days, and having their brother in the hospital.  So it was fun to take them there and let them pick out an animal.  While we were there they wanted to get one for Logan too.  They picked this monkey... We laugh because we had Logan's room done in Monkey's before he was born and his hair reminds us so much of monkey's it is so fitting!  We put one of those voice recorders in the monkey of Ashlyn and Tanner telling Logan how much they love him.  It is precious.

Here Ashlyn is giving him the monkey.

The Monkey is as big as he is... maybe even bigger!

Like I said hospitals are fun... they made silly puddy in the play room with the volunteers.

The free slushies they had on our floor were also a big draw for the kids!

Logan finally looking relaxed and not so uncomfortable.  (And no oxygen- yeah!)

Saturday night my mom came up to hang out with Logan so Brad and I could get some dinner.  If she could she would hold him all day long!  And Brad and I got to venture out from the Primary Children's Cafeteria all the way to the University of Utah Hospital Cafeteria... we know how to live big!

This is how Brad and Logan hang out!

Saturday night I was on my own. Brad went home so the kids could sleep in their own beds. They did the car seat check with Logan and he passed with flying colors.

Doesn't that look like a kid ready to go home!

Brad was back up to the hospital early Sunday morning so he could be there when the doctors came to do their rounds.  They said Logan was ready to go home.  So they took his bandage off and unhooked everything.  It was so nice to hold my baby without all the attachements!

A picture of his monitor right before they unhooked everything.

The top number 127 is his heart rate, 47 is his breaths per minute, and the 97 is his oxygen saturation.

It was a little overwhelming getting all his discharge information and making sure we had all his medications and understood the dosage.  He came home just on tylenol for pain... what a tough kid!  And then he is on Lasix a diuretic and Aldactone which is a potassium supplement.  AMAZING how fast little babies bodies can recover.  In all the stress of getting everything before we left we didn't even take any pictures leaving the hospital.  I was glad to be leaving, but nervous to leave the care of the wonderful nurses we had helping us 24/7.  Now it was all up to me.  Before they would let Logan leave the PICU Brad and I both had to pass off infant CPR.  I have never paid such close attention in a CPR class and never practiced so much... it makes things a little sureal.  We are home now, and figuring out how to live with a little bit of "normalcy."

Surgery #1- Pulmonary Artery Banding

Wednesday morning Logan woke up at 5:30am so I took advantage of the quiet morning and just held him all morning.  His surgery was scheduled for 12:00pm and so they wanted him to be done eating by 7am.  Have you ever tried to explain to a newborn when they can and can not eat?  Impossible.  He wanted to eat at 5:30am, but I held him off until 6:00am and then naturally he didn't want to eat at 6:45am when I was trying to explain to him that it would be awhile before he ate again!  Silly boy!  He then decided he wanted to eat at 9:30am as we were leaving for the hospital.  Brad and I were so nervous that he would be crying the whole time.  He was the BEST baby.  When we got to the hospital they had to weigh him and do all that fun stuff, he didn't even fuss. 

I just held him as we waited for the surgeon to come talk to us. His surgeon was Dr. Kaza- he came in and talked with us around 11:30am and he couldn't believe how good Logan was being having not eaten for so long. He asked us if they had given him medicine to make him so calm because he just slept in my arms.  Dr. Kaza explained the surgery to us and answered all the questions we had.  Then we waited for the anethesiologist to come get him.  He came and explained his part in the surgery and then said, "Okay, we are ready then, give him a kiss goodbye."  I had been dreading that moment from the moment we found out Logan needed surgery.  I don't know how I did it.  But we kissed him, and then kissed him again, and then I had to hand my baby over to the doctor and watch him walk away.  (It makes me cry just writing about it).  I know my Heavenly Father was there giving me strength, and I knew that Logan would not be alone in the operating room.  I know our Heavenly Father was there with him.  I don't know how I know, but I know He was. 

Dr. Kaza came and found us in the waiting room around 3:30pm and told us everything went really well and that Logan was one of the best babies he has ever operated on.  He said they were just getting him settled in the CICU (cardiac intesive care unit) and we could see him in the next 30 min. 

We had some friends who's baby had open heart surgery come visit the night before the surgery and they showed us pictures of their little guy after surgery to prepare us a little for what we might see.  I don't think anything can fully prepare you so see your little baby hooked up to so many things, but it did take away the shock factor.

I think the venilator was the hardest thing to see.  He would try to suck on the tube like his binki.

In the CICU we had our own little "room" and a full time nurse watching Logan at all times.  He had so many monitors and things hooked up to him it was a full time job for the nurse to keep on top of everything.  His first nurse's name was Carolyn- she has been a cardiac nurse for 29 years.  We took full advantage of the one on one time with her and asked her question after question.  We learned about every tube, wire, IV, and monitor hooked up to Logan.

Logan holding tight to dad's finger.  It was so hard not being able to hold him.

Grandma and Grandpa Gunnell came to see him that first day.  Logan and Grandpa now have matching scars (Grandpa had bypass surgery in January- he understood more than any of us how Logan was feeling). 

Logan started opening his eyes around 8:00 that night.  It broke my heart because I could see him looking at me like, "Mom where am I and what happened to me."  The saddest part about him waking up was with the venilator in he couldn't cry.  So his face would turn red and you could see he was upset, but no sound came out- that would be a mom's dream at times to not have the sound come out, but I ached to hear him cry.  It was so sad watching him struggle. 

My mom came to visit with our dear friend Joyce Buehner.  My dad woke up that morning with a cough so he wasn't able to see Logan in the hospital at all. 

There is no place for parents to stay in the CICU (part of the PICU) so Brad and I had to come home to sleep.  We stayed with Logan until late and then I called the nurse all during the night to check on him.  He did great his first night considering all he had gone through.

Day #2 (Thursday) for some reason was a lot harder for me to see him.  We got back up to the hospital that morning and I just sat by him and cried.  Around 10:30am the respiratory nurse came to take his venilator out.  That made all the difference for me.  After that he started looking like my baby again.  He didn't have to be on oxygen right away, but after a few hours his oxygen saturation was falling so they had to put him on oxygen.

My sister Kambria was so great to take our kids.  She brought them to the hospital and they let Ashlyn in to see him for just a minute.  She isn't phased by anything!  She loves little Logan so much!

Thursday night Logan got to eat for the first time.  Brad would hold his head and I would feed him his bottle.  He did awesome!

I got to hold him Thursday night for the first time.  It was pretty scary- there were so many wires and tubes that it made it really awkward, but it was so great holding him again. 

Day #3 (Friday)- Logan had another great night and was eating like a champ.  The nurses were amazed at his appetite- that is my boy!  When we got to the hospital Friday morning they had taken out the IV that was in his neck which made it so much easier to hold him.  Brad and I took turns all day holding him.

He even started nursing again in the PICU- he was amazing everyone with his progress.  He "graduated" from the PICU Friday night and they moved us up to our own room on the "floor" around 6:00pm.

Tanner could finally come see him now that we were out of the PICU- he was so excited.  It was so cute because every time they would come see Brad and I at the hospital Tanner would ask where baby Logan was. 

Ashlyn and Tanner met with a Child Life Specialist that gave them dolls and explained all about how Logan would look and what all the tubes and stuff were for.  So Ashlyn came walking in knowing it all... surprise, surprise (she is our little know-it-all).  She says, "I know that is his oxygen and this tube gives him medicine."  Tanner didn't like everything hooked up to him though and wanted his bandaid off.

It took some coaxing, but we finally conviced Grandma she wouldn't hurt him if she held him.

"Heart" buddies!

Brad and I both got to stay with Logan that night.  It was so good to not have to leave him.  We didn't get much sleep, but we didn't care.  Primary Children's is really big into having the parents be as much apart of their childs care as possible.  So they left it up to us when to give him pain meds and how strong of pain meds to give him.  I appreciated them making us apart of his care, but it was so hard knowing what Logan needed.  I didn't want him to be in ANY pain, yet at the same time there are side effects to everything.  Logan decided at 4am Saturday morning that he didn't need oxygen anymore!  This made us all happy.  We thought for sure he would be coming home on oxygen, but he decided he could do it on his own! 

What a tough guy!

Preparing

So how do you prepare for your baby to have surgery....

You do a lot of this-

Quality family time, pictures, and lots of hugs and kisses

Tanner and Ashlyn didn't want Logan to feel left out as they played the Leapster so they pulled the table up right next the swing and would show Logan what they were doing.

I took this picture right before we headed to the hospital on Tuesday for all of his pre-op stuff.  Ashlyn and Tanner were heading to my sister Kambria's house for the week to stay with her so we could stay in the hospital with Logan.  They wouldn't see Logan again for at least 3-4 days.

For part of his pre-op lab work they needed a urine sample.  The lady in the lab that needed the urine sample was also the lady who had to draw Logan's blood- he didn't like her.  So when she tried to get the urine sample he peed ALL over her- it was kind of funny.  The problem was then we had to wait around the hospital for another 2 hours until he peed again!  While we waited we went and sat out in the butterfly garden at the hospital.

Tuesday night Brad's parents came out and brought us dinner (I haven't cooked 1 single meal since Logan has been born- so many people have brought in dinner).  We had a nice dinner and then Brad and his dad gave Logan another blessing.  Brad and I were also able to get blessings.  This brought me peace and comfort.  I really felt calm and like things would be okay.

We gave Logan a bath and I had to get one last picture of his chest before he got a scar.  I know a scar doesn't matter- and hey will earn major bragging rights.

Logan's Blessing

We got the call on Friday afternoon that they had scheduled Logan's surgery for Wednesday, June 9th.  Brad and I both felt like it would be a good idea to bless Logan before the surgery.  So we called our family Friday evening and told them we would be blessing Logan on Sunday.  I can't believe the love and support we have gotten from our family.  My sister Tiffany lives in Wyoming and when I called them to let them know when Logan's surgery was scheduled and that we would be blessing Logan on Sunday they literally went home, packed their bags, and left to drive here (a 6 1/2 hour drive).  It meant so much to have them here.  And the rest of the family too- I think everyone had to miss something to be there.  I could feel their love and support- not just on his blessing day, but we have felt it all along.  When Logan was first diagnosed with a heart condition we had a family fast for him.  We explained to Ashlyn and Tanner what a fast is and why we were doing it.  I asked them if for their fast if they wanted to go without any kind of treats all day.  They both agreed, and really didn't ask for anything all day.  Ashlyn came home from church and said, "Mom, I told my primary class I was fasting for Logan today and now ALL of them are going to pray that Logan's heart will get better."  It was so sweet, and a faith building moment for me.   

We didn't have an openhouse because we didn't want to take any chances of Logan getting sick before his surgery, but both sets of Grandparents came by the house before church to take some pictures.

Brad blessed Logan and again I found comfort in this blessing.  I know Heavenly Father loves Logan as much as we do as his parents and I know He will bless him and watch over him.  I know modern medicine is amazing, but I know more than that Heavenly Father has a plan for everyone and He has a plan for Logan.

He is adored by his siblings.

And has INCREDIBLE grandparents.

Saturday night before his blessing I was reading all about CHD on the internet.  I sat at my computer with continuous tears streaming down my face as I realized just how blessed we are.  I read stories of other families with heart babies and read about the miracles they have seen.  I read medical journals on Logan's diagnosis and I felt hope.  I felt blessed that he had a pediatrician who found this, I felt blessed that the doctor's weren't waisting any time and really wanted to help Logan.  I realized what a blessing it was that Logan had been home with us for the past two weeks and that the rest of his body was healthy- he is a strong little boy. 

I was also thinking on Sunday after Brad blessed Logan how fitting his name is.  His middle name Glade is a family name with some great heritage.  I hope he inherits qualities from everyone he was named after.  Glade is my Grandma Wells' maiden name.  Anyone who knew my Grandma knew what a strong woman she was in every sense of the word- spiritually, physically, mentally- she was a fighter and I hope Logan gets some of her "fight"- nothing got her down.  My dad's middle name is also Glade- and well my dad is just incredible in every way.  If Logan can inherit any of his qualitites- his genuine kindess for everyone, his unwavering faith in the Lord, his humor and  fun personality, his honesty.  My brother Bryce's middle name is also Glade.  He bore his testimony on Sunday in our Sacrament Meeting and again I thought Logan has another great person to look up to.  Logan has everything going for him!