Watching and Waiting

I had Logan laying in his crib the other day and his Monkey was laying next to him.  It reminded me of when we gave him his monkey how big it was compared to him.  The first two pictures were taken in June and the rest this month.  Amazing how much he has grown in 2 months. 

Brad found this onsie online for Logan.  It says Member of the Zipper Club!

He HATES tummy time, so I will put him in the bumbo chair to strenthen his neck muscles for a few minutes at a time.  I think it is working.... look at him just hanging out holding that head up!

I have typed a million things here and erased them all.  I am not sure what I want to say or how to say it, but know I want to say something.  I catch myself all the time correcting people, myself included, when they say we are so "lucky" that Logan is doing so well.  I know we are not "lucky" instead we are truly blessed.  I don't think luck has anything to do with it.  I think lots of prayers, trying to do the right thing, and a loving Heavenly Father has everything to do with it. 

We took Logan to the cardiologist on the 16th and at first glance the cardiologist was so pleased with how Logan was doing.  I say at first glance because this little boy has a way of masking the chaos that is going on inside his little body.  His coloring is good, he is gaining weight, and his oxygen saturation levels are awesome.  But then after the Echo the doctor wasn't quite as optimistic.  In fact his first words were, "I will call the surgeon tomorrow and talk through things with him."  Logan's heart hasn't changed at all (we were hoping the pressure from the PA band would help stretch the Right Ventricle or at least the ventricle would grow a little to move the tricuspid valve out of the VSD) and he has grown so fast that he is growing out of the PA band already- Dr. Mack seemed concerned with the pressure or something moving across the band.  I left the appointment a little discouraged, but still hopeful.  Dr. Mack talked with Dr. Kaza (the surgeon) and he was comfortable letting Logan "grow" for another month then they will do a more indepth Echo.  Dr. Mack also called a few days later and said before they send him into his next surgery they will do a cardiac cath and an esophageal echo.  They are so baffled by his oxygen levels being so good.

So again it is up to me to watch and to monitor.  It is hard not to be paranoid and over analyze everything- Brad gets to hear from me every day as I call him stressed out about something or another wondering if I need to call the doctor.  I can't imagine going through this without Brad right by my side.  He lets me talk through every concern and he never brushes me off.  He is amazing.  

I love this little boy so much, and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for letting him come to our family.  So we will continue to wait and watch and pray he will be ready and strong enough for what is to come.